Illegitimi non carborundum


We Came, Warsaw, We Conquered!

I met this guy at Meadowbank. He was out in the field and was carrying a massive stick, so I asked him: "Are you a Pole Vaulter?", he replied, "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name was Walter?" Ahh the old ones are the best... or maybe not!!

Anyway, read on and bask in the delights of a Polish excursion that
lasted only three days but shortened life expectancy by about three
years..... each.

Well, what can I say about Wizz Air? They were really good, despite the stupid and cheap sounding name!! The planes were all new and the flight was unremarkable as all good flights should be! Bit of a hairy take off, especially with a pilot sitting next to me saying "This has got to be pretty close to the limits of safety"..... but never mind that it all worked out in the end.

I am a late replacement sub, called up from the bench due to Fraser being unable to make it, so the (soon to be) Merry Men consist of myself, Derek, Stewart, Jack, Mike, Dave, Gel and Stimpy.

Jack did a sterling job doing the organising and the Hostel we stayed at was ace. The chicks weren't quite as hot as the ones in the movie Hostel but then multiple deaths were avoided so every cloud....

Little time was wasted before we started spending ourĀ  time getting wasted. Good(not to mention cheap) beer and Vodka on tap (well not quite but there wasn't exactly a shortage!). Jonesy had managed to wangle some contacts through work to meet up with us for a blether so we met them (via the taxi of confusion by a man who knew less about where he was going than Jack did but made up for this fact by having the best moustache in the Northern Hemisphere!

A few more drinks down and the evening starts to become hazy... but we make it to a club that was recommended to us and carry on the path of enlightenment (of wallets)..... at some point I got totally lost (the place was approximately the size of my front room so this is no mean feat!) but after stumbling around for a while, I bumped into Jonesy who was in a similar situation. Rather than turn right as we left the club we chose left... turns out this was wrong, but we found a cab and were taken home which was good. In the morning we would discover the club was about 200 yards from our hostel (which we would have probably worked out had we turned right), but let's not dwell on the stupidity.

The next morning was surprisingly clear headed. The co-ed showers unfortunately failed to elicit any gossip (at least none that was shared with the group!), but we soon found our way wandering around the former Jewish Ghetto which was walled in by the Nazi when they occupied Warsaw during the 1940s. Some of the original buildings were still standing and we managed to read about all the interesting bits about 5 minutes after we passed them which was pretty good going.

As evening drew in, we wonder up to the old town and just saw some fireworks exploding over the roof tops as part of the celebrations for the Polish Independence Day which was nice. We then wandered into a Market Square where there were lots of people wondering around and some music floating over from the corner where a guitarist and a saxamaphonist were happily strumming and tootling away. Took a moment just to sit down and soak it up before soaking up some local vodka in one of the many bars.... The night becomes hazy after that.... Gel threw a glass and broke it and then took out his anger on all of us by shouting and swearing in a restaurant, before promptly falling asleep where he sat (OK, he just dropped the glass and Jack did steal his main meal, so I guess it was somewhat justified!!). I don't remember much else about the night but I do remember having a good fight with Derek... don't ever trust that man... I discovered on my return that he must have bitten my nipple in that fight.... must have a bit of Tyson in him.

Next day we didn't wake till about 2pm. I felt like compete shit, and as we made our weary way to the Ice bar for a sub-zero vodka, I could feel my insides turn in all thirteen dimensions. Fortunately, we got there before it opened and we had to eat eight of the largest pizza we could imagine. We didn't think they'd be that big and we had to leave about 1/3 but hey ho, it made me feel about 100 times better so I went to the Ice Bar with gusto! Jack wanted to get naked but thankfully stopped short by only going half way (and I congratulate him on the choice of which half to keep covered - ice chairs.... had accident written all over it!!). Anyways, the Ice Bar was cool (boom! boom!), and set us up for a relatively sedate final night of drinks. We found a couple quiet places and made a new friend in Thomaz who tried in vein to get us into some club or other. Instead we took him to, quite possibly the shittest bar in Warsaw where Jack pushed a large man, covered in studs, off his chair in a argument about which country was better. It seems Scotland won. All was well (thankfully) and it all seemed quite good spirited!

Sad to come home and suffering the post holiday blues now, but such is life.

So, "Poland" - "Tick" - Next?

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